Monthly Archives: July 2012

commencement.

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super, super duper overdue post. partly because so much else has been happening, partly because there’s been so many things to think about. i should be doing my europe post first, but that’s going to be one heck of a long post. one month in that country and i’m still overwhelmed even though i’ve been back for close to two months. i’ve also got the annual birthday post to do but i haven’t exactly gotten round to doing that yet. but i promise i will! *pinkie promises* other than work, been busy catching up with the party scene. said goodbye to mambo at the zouk mainroom, but that’s another story. been hitting the clubs every friday/saturday, simply because i love the music, simply because i love to dance. and it helps that there are guest DJs almost every week. but, that’s not that point of this post. 

i can now proudly proclaim that I HAVE GRADUATED. *BEAMS* well, i could’ve said that since 3 weeks ago (ohwow, how times flies. >.<) commencement was a very exciting affair cause it kicked off my most exciting week in July, which also happens to be my favourite month because in that very same week was my birthday! *double beams* anyways, the birthday’s for another post. but, I’VE GRADUATED, GRADUATED! (though at this point of time, i’m kinda missing school already as i see all my friend’s posts about orientation camps and module bidding)

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“closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
“Closing Time” – Green Day

yeaps, commencement means that i’m saying goodbye, closing this chapter of my life as an undergraduate. it’s been a great 4 years in NUS, and i’ve really learnt a lot, about myself, about the people around me, about life in general. i missed a lot of opportunities, i realized as i looked back, but there’s no regrets there. as an undergraduate, i got to know what i’m good at (research, writing term papers) and what i was really bad at (exams, memorizing, the boring stuff) academically and the things that i was good at didn’t exactly constitute a huge part of my grades, but i had fun while it lasted. in my first two years, living in hall made me realize more about who i was as a person and how i dealt with the people around me. it also made me grow as a leader as i held many different roles in the various committees in hall and i grew, matured more than i had in many years. the third year, i found a place where i left my heart – Cambodia. and in the fourth year, i found my passion/calling – Entrepreneurship. but throughout the years there, i found a solid group of girlfs to hangout with, i found a home away from home – Zouk, and i found that one girl (me!) could have a wide variety of interests that don’t necessarily intersect with one another. 

so, commencement. it’s not just an ending, but a beginning as well. the start of (hopefully) financial freedom and the ability to do more than i used to be able to due to my limited financial backings. it’s also the start of a new chapter of my life, which i realize that i’m not really enjoying – the working world. i’m not doing well in my current job because i find that as a leader, i cannot work under incompetent leaders. i learnt that seniority does not equate to being able to do a good job of your work and being a junior doesn’t mean that i’m bad at what i’m doing. i think i’m fantastic in what i’m doing, and i know my personality profile fits this job (as the branch manager is always stressing to me) but in that kind of work environment where seniors show that they don’t do their job well just makes me feel that they’re all talk with no corresponding action. 

commencement also means that i have a bachelor’s degree, it’s a “passport” to doing the masters of my choice in the (hopefully, near) future. and i am gradually taking steps towards that particular goal, that i am hoping will lead to my ultimate life goal/dream job that i am currently planning for. time waits for no man, and my fate is in my hands. that’s going to be my personal motto for at least the next 5 – 7 years as i, as a young woman, fight for my dreams. yes, you read right, dreams with a “S” cause there is more than one thing that i’m wanting to pursue. too many things on my hand, who cares? i’m young and i have the energy, so i’m going to do whatever it takes. (:

quelyn, fight on!

being thankful.

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it seems that every time something happens to my phone, it’s a sign or rather, a chance to start anew when it comes to relationships. partly because i don’t exactly back my phone up, partly because whenever i get a new phone, it’s personal policy for everything to be fresh and new. which means no old messages, no old contacts etc. the only numbers that are saved within the first few hours are my girls and bros. i should be thankful that this is a “new start” to my life. i still haven’t done my annual birthday post where i set the stage for the next step of my life because i’m still working through some stuff. i have in mind to write a valedictorian speech because i think i’m wanting to go back to school to do my masters. i have something in mind right now, so yeah. i have plans, ideas and more plans, but i need to write them down, start really making things concrete. and the first step is, going to SMU to ask questions. second step is the start borrowing the right books from the library. third step is, just having fun through this process. (:

i need to start thinking positive.
i need to start being positive.
i need to be positive about what’s happening.

Y, why?

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*heartbreaks* my HTC is being temperamental and isn’t booting up properly, and i have no idea how to backup my phone, and i have no idea if my contacts are backed up. >.< i did a backup of the phone like, a few days ago but i don’t know how much of that is going to be useable. i think i can forget about everything, but the one thing that i’ll be damn sad to lose is Y’s number. june, july and almost august. and now, i might have possibly lost the number of that one person that i’m desiring the most now. SIGH. Y, why? ohwells. too many other things to worry/think about at the moment. 

the job, the leg and now, the phone. SIGH.

i’m at a payphone trying to call home.

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almost a month since my last blog post; i’ve been busy, wayyy too busy for my own liking. so many things have been happening and i think the only way to tell you all that’s been is through photos. dance class with beekie, lunch with kangy, going for an interview and getting my first “job” after graduation and how i’m currently regretting it, darts competition with beek, jing + zach’s graduation, my own graduation, my birthday. yeah, i turned 23. that’s another post altogether because i haven’t done my annual “review” + plan for the next year. 

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about a week more to my first month on the job that i’m in now; and i am not a happy camper. maybe i haven’t given the job much of a chance. afterall, i only worked one day out of the whole of last week (which was supposed to be my third week at work) because of a really bad bout of food poisoning. it’s not really about not being able to hit my sales targets because honestly, looking at the numbers on the temp/new perm staff board, no one hits those targets. those targets are just there to spur us towards a number or we’d never hit any temp outs. i don’t see the point of this job that treats other humans like, products to sell. it’s like, legalized prostitution. the amount of bias-ness that flies around the office from the clients, to the the client holders to the staff itself is saddening. the amount of politics as well. please, you backstab during office hours and pretend to bond after? scary much. i have my own morals and i have my own values when it comes to life and the way that i treat others, and i am definitely NOT going to change them for the job. not that i believe that there’s a “perfect” job out there because nothing will ever be perfect. but because i believe that there will be a place where there is compromise, where my values will be respected, where the senior’s help will be extended willingly and without judgement. 

a month since that 12hours with Y; i’ve changed so much after that encounter. no, we haven’t been talking and i don’t think we ever will unless we one day meet again by chance and, maybe, just maybe, hit it off again. i find myself having a silly grin hanging on my lips whenever i see his photo or hear his voice in a video. law of attraction says the more that i want it, the more i’ll attract it. maybe, maybe. but what i have to say is that from that episode in my life, although we might only have had 12 hours with each other, it had a profound impact on what i was doing with my life. i’ve changed so much for the better and deep down inside, i know Y was the turning point. if we ever meet again, i want to say, thank you.

but until then, Y, i’m at a pay phone trying to call home.
and home, is there in your arms.