Monthly Archives: April 2012

travel packing.



spent most of the morning packing things into bottle and pouches etcetc, and i still feel that i’m missing so many things. howhowhow? i don’t need anymore clothes, that’s for sure. but i do need a pair of jeans, thinking of getting those denim leggings rather than lugging a super heavy pair around europe. the leggings one will be like a fraction of its jeans counterpart, smaller and easier to wash too (i hope). i feel like there’s so many more things i need to get. i’m afraid that i’ll forget to bring something and have to buy it there (which, might be expensive. meh.)

i shouldn’t pack 4 scarves right? one or two will be enough, but i’m so afraid that it won’t match what i’m wearing for the day. that’s my main concern bringing so many pieces of clothes, that things won’t match on that day. hurhur. madness is madness. i’m trying to bring as many throwable things as possible, like toiletries in bottles that i’ll throw along the way, clothes that may be too big for me so that i can just dump/recycle them as and when i feel like it on the trip. if only europe were like thailand, go there and buy the clothes that you need to wear. hahas. skirts, dresses, how many do i need? i really don’t know. but i substituted a more dressy one for a lesser but still can pass off as somewhat dressy one cause i can wear that as a top as well. double duty. sigh. how siol. i also need “vatican aappropriate” clothes. okay, those denim leggings are a must i guess. how many shorts to bring? how many belts? omg, how many hairbands should i bring?!

see, being a girl on holiday is not easy. yes, i can be the scruffy backpacker type, but on this trip, i want to try to blend in with the local crowd. yeah, i’m asian, kinda hard at times. but i have a half-white face, definitely not very european, but i’ll definitely do a little better than my travel buddies, they look totally asian. lols. which isn’t a bad thing cause i have a love-hate relationship with being called non-asian/half-asian etc. MY MUM THINKS I’M NOT CHINESE CAUSE I DON’T EAT ENOUGH RICE. but mummy, i eat chinese noodles like charkawyteow (omg, must eat that before going to europe) and wanton mee (had it for lunch on saturday) and chaiteowkway (the boy’s fav!). oh, and from now on, like today, after 12noon, NO MORE WESTERN FOOD. which means, no pasta, preferably no fries, no beef steak, no tiramisu, no pizzas, nothing vaguely western. chinese food all the way to make sure i get so sick of it before europe. ohmygawd, BAKCHORMEE. shit, i need to eat the one at lavender before i fly. die also must go and eat.

anyway, back to packing. so i’ll have a luggage, a bag to bring up the plane and a day bag for when i’m there and traveling around. three bags. rawrs. essentially i hope to carry just the luggage and the bag for the plane on the first day. less bags, less hassle. and the day bag shall be in the luggage and be only used as a .. day bag. heh. but i don’t know if that’s going to happen because i see to have a little too many things to pack along (sh*t). how to fit everything into the luggage and make sure it’s less than 20kg?! oh, and i need to learn how to use the lock on the luggage. don’t want to go there and have to figure out how to open it or worse, not be able to open it (horrors!) bringing a few creature comforts from home in the form of vietnamese coffee (okay, not really “from homeland” kind of “home”) and green tea (once again… ) because i feel that once in a while i’ll probably need it like in the middle of the night or when i don’t want to go out and pay for coffee cause the ones they serve are just too fu*king sweet. 

i think either fred or perry might have a chance to go to europe with me this time round. i just realized that they might be perfect for being my bring on the plane bag. cause the one that i intended to use probably ain’t going to fit all the misc stuff that i don’t want to put in the luggage (sh*t, if it goes over 20kg, how?!) omg. headache max. what to bring, how to pack? EUROPE, Y U NO EASY TO PACK LIKE BANGKOK? one shirt, one shorts, one bra, one underwear, one sleeping shirt and i’m all packed for bangkok. damn.

okay, i’m going to nap a bit and then go about doing what i have to do today. which seems like everything and nothing at the same time. sigh.


pre-trip to do list.


#1: pay all outstanding bills
#2: buy medicine
#3: collect digital camera
#4: clean my room up
#5: clear the stuff outside
#6: throw away all notes/sell all books
#7: change money (IMPT!)
#8: do laundry
#9: print confirmations
#10: photocopy passport (IMPT!)



0135hrs. and i can’t sleep.
simply because the moment i close my eyes, i dream of you.
you tease me about having weird dreams,
but you don’t know they all revolve around you.

and it hurts, cause i miss you.

拆了我 扔了我
繼續愛我 沒有結果 反而折磨
請忘了我 請成全我
別心疼我 別可憐我


travelogue; ancient civilizations.


EUROPE; whenever i think of this continent, i immediately picture greek gods, roman empires, world heritage sites, snow, wine and la dolce vita. it’s definitely one of the “must go” places when you travel and this year, i’m one step closer to striking off #7 on my life’s bucket list: to travel to all the seven continents of the world. to be honest, i don’t have a #10 for that list. i think i should start compartmentalizing my bucket list cause THERE’S JUST SO MUCH I WANT TO DO. and i really do mean Do, not just See. i realize a lot of tourists take the “wrong” approach on travel (in inverted commas because, i guess some people just like to See and not Do). of course when you go to some place you travelled 3000miles to be at, you want to see all the museums and statues and fountains, i mean, who wouldn’t! but the thing is i feel that as a traveller, you have to Do in order to make your trip special, somewhat of an adventure. of course, i want to See all the museums (ohmy, what i would give to be in the sistine chapel like, NOW! or in front of the trevi fountrain. angels&demons is getting to me, wanderlusting rome while reading that book by dan brown) and sites that this ancient civilizations have. but it’s more important for me to find something to DO. i want to learn to make pizza in rome. i want to make my own glassbead necklace in venice. i want to cycle the streets of amsterdam. i want to climb the eiffel tower. i .. don’t really know what i want to do in london at the moment. hmmm.

anyway, i didn’t think it’d be clever to scrawl what i’ve been reading in my guide books on the journal, afterall, that’s for concrete experiences and for collecting souvenirs. so i’m going to “scrawl” them here. (: i should be able to get wifi at my hostels so reviewing this page won’t be a problem, i hope. think i’ll be blogging from europe if i get the chance and yes, i do think i will have data there cause i plan to get their SIM cards. it’s going to be so much cheaper than data roaming like i did in krabi (partially because krabi is awful with wifi, there’s like, none). so here goes nothing!

#1: buckingham palace
#2: westminster abbey
#3: the london eye
#4: st. paul’s cathedral
#5: tower of london
#6: tate britain / tate modern / national gallery
#7: shakespeare’s globe theatre
#8: king’s cross station, platform 9 3/4
#9: west end musical
#10: day trip to stonehedge / bath
#11: ride the red open top bus!

#1: eiffel tower
#2: the louvre
#3: palace of versailles
#4: notre-dame
#5: arc de triomphe
#6: champ-elysee
#7: the river seine
#8: musee d’orsay
#9: wine tasting
#10: catacombs of paris

#1: marijuanaaaa.
#2: see the tulips
#3: see a windmill!
#4: cheese tasting
#5: walk the red light district
#6: bike around the city
#7: heineken brewery
#8: amsterdam pride parade
#9: those clogs~
#10: cruise down the canal



the countdown.


it’s sunday here in singapore (and i guess everywhere else that’s in the same time zone as me), and i’m already feeling the rush of the “end of exams” period. that’s what happens when you have your second last paper on a saturday and your very last paper on the wednesday of the following week. IT FEELS LIKE IT’S THE END OF THE EXAMS ALREADY! hahas. i spent my sunday pretty much lazing around. went to the public library to get travel books on all the locations that i’ll be going to. think i’ll jot down notes online in the blog rather than in my journal. save space for doodling and writing and pasting all the awesome stuff that i’m going to be collecting along the way (note to self: pack double sided tape).

so, it’s t minus 3 to my last paper, my very last paper of my academic life (*crosses fingers i don’t have to repeat a semester*). well, maybe not. i’m planning to do my masters in a few years, hopefully something on religion and society because it’s the topic that’s got me the most fascinated throughout my university life. but it hasn’t been an easy journey to this ending. my CAP’s not really fantastic (okay, not that i really care. i just miss out on some employment opportunities and pay increments, but i’ll make up for them, somehow) and i’ve got a HUGE student loan waiting for me to pay off once i get a job. but it’s a new chapter of life that i’m looking forward to. (: i guess there’s something thrilling about financial freedom, and about knowing that i’ll be able to save up for more trips abroad!

t minus 5 to bangkok with the girlies! and i really can’t wait! i’ve been to thailand before, but only to phuket and krabi, never to bangkok. i’ve heard so much about it being the mecca of shopping and i can’t wait to be in chatuchak to see for myself. i might just faint from the sheer amount of shopping. anyway, all i’m bringing is one change of clothes, toiletries, gadgets and chargers. nothing else is going into my bag cause the space is going to be reserved for …. SHOPPING! gosh, i think i’m going to go broke after chatuchak, seriously. i’m not really changing much money for my trip to bangkok because i need the bulk of it for europe, which leads to the next point …

T MINUS 7 TO EUROPE! it’s that grad trip that everyone waits for after their X number of years in the university/juniorcollege/secondaryschool etc. to be really honest, i’m not happy about the way that things have been fanning out because i realized that one of my travel partners is really … sigh. inconsiderate? i don’t know what vocabulary to use here because this person didn’t use to be like this. i thought this person would be a great travel buddy, but apparently from what i’m seeing, i’m really wrong. i guess now i know why *mumblestheothergirlbackedoutofthetrip ikindaseewhereshewascomingfromnow* SIGH. but you know what, it’s an expensive trip, one that i can’t actually afford, one that i’ve scrapped every last bit of my savings to go on. and i don’t really care about who i’m travelling with anymore. if i get frustrated enough, i’ll go solo. i’m going there to create an adventure for myself. it’s the first time that i’ll be in europe and OHMYGAWDIAMEXCITED! don’t know how to exactly put it but i had a goal at the beginning of this year to go to at least two places that i haven’t been to before, and now, i’m going to FIVE cities that i’ve never been to before. and that’s just the summer! add on my diving trip in the later half of this year, plus whatever i’ll be planning for december, i think i got more that quadruple of what i planned to achieve when it comes to travelling this year. *BEAMS*

the only thing i’m not looking forward to is missing J for an entire month. and i haven’t even gotten to see him for the last .. 3weeks? he’s been busy at work, i’ve been prepping for exams. *crosses fingers* please god, let me get to see him at least once before i fly. IBEGYOUgodoutthere. sigh.

boys, boys, boys.


i can safely say that after “summer rain”, “leave a light out for me” and all the other belinda carlisle songs that they play at mambo, “boys, boys, boys” is my next favourite. honestly when i first heard for the first time at mambo, i was quite shocked because of all the beng-ster sounds that they made. partly because i wasn’t used to that kind of ruckus, and partly because it was kind of a “culture shock”. yes, i grew up in singapore with singlish all around me. and yes, i do speak singlish occasionally. i went to a co-ed neighbourhood school, but the friends that i made were never the ahbeng/ahlian type. i have nothing against them, i even wanted to try to be an ahlian for awhile during my JCdays (laughable, yes. my friends say i don’t make the cut cause i don’t speak fluent singlish or dialect).

anyway, that’s not what this post is about. was at zouk last night for it’s 21st party, and it was a BLAST! can’t tell you how much i love that place. it was one of the first few clubs that i went to once i turned legal (cause before that i sneaked in with fake IDs). my solace when i first broke up with Y a few years back. the place where i first met beekie, my bestest, best friend. and of course, the place where i opened my eyes to a lot of things in the world. had loads of drinks at phuture cause it was the beek’s advanced birthday celebration and had mad fun dancing even though the floor was crowded. i think the crowd at phuture’s generally nicer these days cause the boys always helped me open a pathway when i try to get back in. then again, it could be because i became prettier. lols.

anyway, that’s still not the whole point of this post. the point is, yesterday i finally went into the dancefloor again after a really long time and fished around a bit, just for fun. i’m happy with having J around, but doesn’t mean i can’t go test the waters to see if i’m still as attractive as before. *sticks tongue out* i haven’t been into the dancefloor since i got together with C about a year ago. and after all these years, boys still haven’t changed much, have they. meet you, buy you a drink, dance with you a little, take your number and the next day, say “i like you, you’re pretty”. dude, you don’t even know me, how can you like me? it’s absurd what people base liking someone on the person’s looks alone.

but these kind of boys are perfect for short-term entertainment. essentially what i need here and there cause i’m definitely not looking long-term right now. i haven’t found the right guy yet, or maybe it’s because i’m not the right kind of girl for the boys out there yet. whichever way it is, a long-term relationship is something that has to be waited on and for now, let’s just play around with the little boys who send themselves my way.

may you realize, the odds will never be in your favour.

i thought it was over.


i guess i was wrong, and that what i thought was new feelings was just a rebound. today, as i was scrolling my newsfeed, i saw superman’s status update. and that was it, everything just fell apart within minutes, actually it was seconds. the first thing that came to mind was adele’s “someone like you”. i guess some old lovers, we just don’t forget as readily as we thought we would. with the appearance of J, i found it easier to let go of C. i mean, there was nothing else for us to talk about while we were sober. that one night that i saw him at Z, it was only when he was high that he started asking me random things and even got mad at me for something that wasn’t his right anymore.

i really thought it was over then. i had J with me, and though that ship’s going nowhere, i was happy. i still am, because with him, i feel safe. but when C posted that, i guess some old feelings just came back. i wish J was here with me tonight. but he’s busy, and i don’t want to ask too much of him. because i want to keep status quo. status quo between us is good, and is all i ever want.

but for now, it’s time to .. distract myself with that essay that i’m supposed to be writing right now. i did my best to dehydrate myself so that i wouldn’t cry anymore. i told Lucien, i don’t know why i’m crying. it’s not even logical that i am under this kind of circumstances. why, why would i be doing this? sigh, i have a feeling that it’s just sentimentality playing with my feelings cause i’m kinda lonely and haven’t seen J for ages. i should just concentrate on my work right now.

yes, work work. that’s the only thing that should be on my mind right now.