2011’s been a challenging and trying year for me with the most unusual ups and downs. i started 2011 off trying to get R to go back to us being just friends. i guess i always get the guys who don’t know what they want and don’t know how to back off properly cause i’m ending the year trying to forget on confused boy. said confused boy has been the happiest, as well as the most challenging part of the year because i’ve never had a guy like him. the bad boys, the musicians, the sportsmen, but never one like him before. maybe it was his novelty that got me going and later his “loyalty” that made me think twice to give an extra few months. but, that was my mistake of the year. i should’ve let go when the lease expired.
i guess the most memorable thing about this year is that i started a few different paths. joined the choir, went through all the way to hiphop2 in dance, started mamboing and shuffling awesomely. and through all these, i made many new friends. i’m really proud because it was in line with what i wanted at the start of the year. to be singing and dancing, at least doing things that i like when i’m not studying or being burdened by the problems of those close to me. but that said of having new friends, many old friends showed an uglier side of them, especially in the last few months. i now know who’s true to me, and who’s just trying to be close without trying, who’s false, and who shouldn’t even be a friend of the second circle. i guess as we grow older, we slowly see different sides of people. we thought they were one thing, but people eventually change as well and we have to learn to let go of them for our own good.
i went through the months of march to june reflecting on my past relationships with guys. and realized now that i’ve slowly let them go, one by one. now, i’ve only got a certain confused being in my mind, but that’s about it. everyone else, i’ve let go. i’ve had quite a few relationships this year in the months where i wasn’t with confused. T was good while it lasted, being a national athlete meant that i essentially had a “personal trainer”. i loved the times we spent together because it really put me on the right track for my health for the rest of the year. my harrypotterR and his adventures with voldermortA was a change in scenery. he was someone that i could go to museums to and just be little kids once again. it was happiness while we lasted cause i’ve never had such a silly, romantic boy like that. our love for the same kind of things made it easy, but our positions in life made it hard. i didn’t think it would last anyway.
may, may was a turning point. confused was a novelty, and a difference from the rest that i had during the year before him and well, during him. he said it was okay if i dated other guys, and i did. but at the end of the day, i always went to bed with his texts of good night and sweet dreams. yes, it’s the same for girls as well. even the most hardcore of players or serial daters would have that one person he/she would want to hear from last before they close their eyes to sleep and first when they open their eyes coming out from dreamland. confused was a novelty that became an addiction that became a concern. i’m glad that i have so many good memories despite what’s left of us now.
2011 wasn’t the best travel year because i only travelled four times this year. and once was for a camp, not a holiday. batam was short, but it was my first trip out of the country with beekie, and it was an awesome time just slacking away together. we both needed a break, before she started work, before i started a new year in school. krabi was nothing short of awesome because i went with a bro who really talked things through with me. made me rethink about my relationships with a lot of people and well, i guess that was when i renew the lease on confused. shouldn’t have, but it’s a lesson learnt that somethings cannot be kept past it’s initial expiry. bali was the best way to end the year’s travels. nuff said. cause there’s no words that can describe the awesomeness of the trip.
to say that 2011’s bad just because of the way the year’s ending doesn’t do the year justice because overall in the macro scale of things, everything was quite good. i had hoped to cross the new year with you, but it’s okay. at least you left those memories here for me. on the whole, it was a good and exciting year that i would go through again because of the lessons that have been learnt.
so here’s to 2012 being another awesome year. (: