Monthly Archives: March 2011

huge mistake.

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9:41pm. is this the end?

my heart hurts. i made a stupid mistake, and maybe that was my chance, dead and gone? i really did like him.

or maybe i’m thinking too much and he’s just too tired for the day.

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the past, it don’t matter.

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i don’t care who you are,
where you’re from
don’t care what you did,
as long as you’re honest with me.

i think slowly as the friendship grows, we slowly start to see different sides of each other, and especially things of the past. i see that my sheltered person gives rise to a lot of naivety that sometimes steps insensitively on things that you might not have wanted to bring up in the first place.

you’ve been nothing but honest with me, and i really don’t bother much about your past, because it’s passed. it’s a part of you, it’s made you who you are. and i’m thankful for that.

what i do care about is the present friendship, and maybe, the future.

you’re beautiful.

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i’m probably the only one in the entire world that thinks i look ugly. i was quite shocked when a girl that i’m slowly getting to know told me that she thought i was stunning when she first met me. of course my friends, as nice friends, will always say i’m pretty and my mother has a motherly obligation to say that i’m pretty.

gosh. i’m being stupid right? my brain is clouded with depression, or something like that. i haven’t cried since my grandpa passed away. and the person that i really need cannot be by my side.

in his words, this feeling sucks big time.

dance in the dark.

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if you didn’t know, my grandpa has passed away. and i lied to everyone that i’ve already cried my heart out, but i didn’t. i haven’t cried the entire time. but yesterday night, i did the only thing i knew how to – dance.

went down to phuture with B and really danced the night away. danced till my dress was soaked in sweat, danced till my hair was all wet and messed up. danced like there was no tomorrow. scolded a few guys along the way for trying to get fresh with me, usually i wouldn’t, but yesterday night, i was in a bad mood, so too bad for them.

dance, right now you’re my only emotional outlet when the people i need are not around.

first.

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i really thank god that you were here today. the only person in my life who didn’t know what was actually going on. i don’t want to bring the drama of my life into our budding relationship, too early for drama.

thank you for making me smile the whole day. thank you for loving me the way you do. thank you, you don’t know how much it really meant.

and it’s true, i want this to happen every week.

and i think you should know.

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i crave for adventure. i want independence. i don’t like it when people expect me to be putting them first because there’s so many things going on in my life. if i think you’re worth my time, you’ll know who you are because i make that effort to put you and keep you in my life. i make that effort to spend time with you. i make that effort to let you know that i love you.

but if you don’t hear from me, take the hint and back off. i have my family, my girls, and this guy in my life that’s much too important for me to be bothered with anyone else.

to my family, my girls, and that guy that i’ve been messaging all week long, you’ll mean the world to me. you’ll are the people i wanna have adventures with. ((: and i swear i’ll never leave when you need me.