The last day of January is finally here, and in less than 5hours, it’ll be February. Setting resolutions in January helps, but I’ve been having a hard time keeping up with everything. Getting back into the flow of lectures, tutorials and studying. Getting used to the fact that I no longer stay in hall and have to make new friends because I never had any friends outside hall. Getting used to travelling back and forth from school. January was a month of “getting used to”.
It was also a month of “starting”. I started taking dance lessons again. I started going to the gym again. I started physiotherapy to strengthen my ankles. I started taking charge of my finances. I started paying off debts. I started reading the Bible. Not everything was smooth sailing. I stopped physiotherapy because I can’t afford it anymore. I’m always a few days behind my Bible reading plan. I don’t always make it to the gym. And as for school, sometimes I miss a lecture because I overslept.
There are also some personal things that I haven’t been able to stop. There are some habits that are hard to break, and I’m still struggling with it because it’s something that has been a part of my life for a very long time, at least 4years now. There are some people that I’m still trying to let go off or forgive, it’s not an easy task when there are people you love to much to hate, and yet hate too much to love.
But forever starts tomorrow. February is another month. The start of another cycle of battles, physically, mentally and emotionally. I hope that God allows and I pass the choir auditions and start serving in ministry this month. I pray that He gives me the willpower to break habits, just as He gave me the power to take back my dreams. I resolute to sleep earlier and miss less lectures.
And tomorrow, Forever starts Today. Everyday will be a step to walking closer to my destiny. Everyday will be a step that I love God even more.
but first, there are about a million things to change, to put in place, to make right. and until then, i’ll dream high of the impossible until God and i make it possible.
Once again, here we go. 27days since the start of the new year. 27days since I skyped R. Missing his birthday was a huge thing for him because even when we were just friends, I would somehow spend it with him. But last year, I refused to. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t think it was right to. But he obviously had other thoughts. I know he killed the party, it was awesome. But, the brothers told me another story, a different one from that which I saw online. Yes, I am getting emo about this entire thing. IMY as much as you do, but this is for the best. You, and I both know that.
Be the best skater as I chase my dreams to be a dancer. Maybe one day, we’ll meet on the red carpet again.
But till then, I’ve just gotta forget about everything and put my mind onto the things that are present. I have enough to worry about without you being one of them. Studies, finances, health, dreams – they need so much more brain space. And so I’ve got to learn to stop thinking about you. I’ve got to learn to focus on what’s here, and not 8000 miles away.
Here we go, once again. I’m torn into pieces by my own mind.
God, you take the wheel. I can’t drive anymore.
i miss those green eyes.
i miss seeing you in the park.
i miss watching you wear your suit.
i miss the way you slip your ring on.
i miss the way you love your brothers.
i miss asking if your tats hurt after you’ve gotten them.
i miss taking shadow photos, the only type we ever could.
i miss talking to you through skype even though it meant less sleep.
6 months since.
since we decided,
since i decided.
can someone tell me, how?
“romeo and juliet died in the end.”
the last words i left you with 6months ago.
you skate to forget.
i dance to forget.
and maybe one day, we’ll see that it’s just a dream.
it’s all i wanna say whenever i miss you.
if you’re reading this, you’ll both know who you are.
imissyou, but there’s no way to go back.
i always thought that these feelings would only come in the future,
when i stepped into that destiny.
but who knew, you are walking that destiny.
and you, are watching me walk towards that destiny.
it hurts, but there are things that we sacrifice.
for the vision, for the dream, for the destiny.
we all gave something up.
“it’s been so long that i haven’t seen your face,
i’m tryna be strong, but the strength i have is washing away”
Day 09. What you hope your future will be like.
I know that at the beginning of 2011, i wasn’t very sure where my life would take me, where my future would be. I had lost a lot in 2010. Everything that was burning in my being in 2010 slowly died because of injury, sickness. And slowly, I started neglecting myself as well. I lost confidence. Lost passion. Lost vision.
But 2011 started out with a very strong message to me. This year, I reclaim all my hopes, dreams and visions. I’m still injured, but I’m going through physio to strengthen. I lost my voice to sickness, I’m taking better care of myself. I lost confidence because I wasn’t able to exercise (due to the 3859 injuries sustained) and became heavier, I’m gyming thrice a week, and thinking of uping it to five times a week once my injuries are healing up.
In the future, I hope that I’ll be doing one, or all of my three greatest passions – dance, singing and film. A lot, and I really mean ALOT of people having been telling me about how impractical the route is, or how such routes usually lead to poverty. But I believe that as theses talents have been given to me, it’s in my stewardship to use them to the best of my abilities.
One, it’s passion – and life’s nothing without it. Two, God-given talent should be shared with the world, for the world. My greatest wish is that one day, I’ll be making enough money to be able to support my kids, and the association that I’m working with in Cambodia. Sustainable community service is about continually giving back to the community that you come in touch with because it’s not wise to just go there once, or twice and then forget about that place. My leader once said something that is true – you may forget them, but they never forget you.
So in the future, I will be someone who pursues my passion for a higher cause and an even higher calling. ((:
#10: Bolly Wooly at Fatboy’s the Burger Bar
(: First post on the S5-0 list. After a long, long hiatus (and loads of procrastination), I finally got to go to one of the 50 locations that I was supposed to go to. And of course, what else would I try than the recommended burger. I was quite tempted to go for the “Create Your Own” option, but it seemed wrong to be making your own burger since I hadn’t tried the recommended. And, I’m glad to say it wasn’t a bad choice.
Honestly, loved the lamb patty and the curry sauce that was in the burger. Hated the bottom bun though, too thick for my liking. And the thick fries, LOVE. Most of my friends who went along loved the place and food too. No ratings cause I’m not a food blog. Just someone who wants to try loads of good food.